doubts in blogging

I haven been blogging for quite sometime. Firstly its because I am super duper busy, Secondly becos Im abt the future of this blog. It seems like in many years to come, things that I have blogged will be archived and I may not see what I want. Nevertheless, I have decided to continue blogging.

Bad Day--- I'm feeling depressed

Alot of things have been in my mind... Baby is sick twice this month and she has not been able to get the jab done. Not sure when and how but since baby begin to get interested with the world and uninterested with feeding, my milk supply has been decreasing. Blame me for not expressing conscientiously (thinking that I would like to drag the hours longer so that I can express less number of times in sch) Well, the consequence is my supply decrease drastically, my storage in fridge is depleting, and I'm worried my milk career will end VERY SOON :( 

What else? adopting the baby whisperer method to coax Baby to sleep independently seems not as successful and nowadays Chloe will fuss when she is abt to sleep. My Hb says I train her to cry b4 sleep :( Im sadded. Is this what I want? No definitely not. Chloe, Mummy is juz trying to teach you how to sleep independently and sleep for longer hours. What else…. time with Chloe is running out and I will nid to go back to work very very soon. so little time yet so many things I wanna do.. All these things have been running on my mind continuously and Im feeling so blue. As I write this post, I am reminded God will nv give me more than what I can take. I will survive by God’s wondrous grace… and it is this season that unto us a King is born. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Im glad that no matter what happens, God is still in control! 明天会更好！amen

Adopting Baby Whisperer method Part 2

Have been adopting Tracy Hoggs' method for coming to 3 weeks. During this period of time, I have been very conscious abt wat time Chloe sleep, sleep for how long and her feeding pattern. Despite following the methods, Chloe did not seem to be adapting well and this is pretty demoralising. What went wrong? Did I not observe the sleep window and miss it? Did I not set the setting well? Did I do the “pick up put down”wrongly?

Whenever it comes to nap time and I experience Chloe fussing, crying (telling me she dont know how to sleep) it makes me wonder whether Im a bad mummy and doing the wrong things to her.  Im kinda helpless...

Sick for a second time

Chloe has not recover fully since she was hit with bronchitis and now she is down with flu again. Went to see Dr Siaw yesterday and Im sadded cos Chloe nid to continue to take more med. Hope she will get well soon so that she can take the long delayed jab. btw had her weighed and seems like for 1 mth plus she oni gain abt 700g. Seems like she nid more food or becos she is unwell so she did not gain much! Really nid her to get into the able to sleep well and eat well mode!

Third Day since seeing Doctor

Today is the third day since seeing Doctor but Chloe doesn’t seems to be recovering despite taking the medicine. :( Doctor oni says we bring her back for review if she runs a temp or feels breatheless…. so we could oni wait and pray for God to heal Chloe real soon… Daddy Patrick also took childcare leave to stay home to care for bb… 

Chloe is 4 months old le!

Chloe is 4 months old le but she is sick so cannot bring her out to enjoy and have prawning session with Godpa and family. Hope she will recover real soon!

Baby Chloe is sick :(

Poor Baby Chloe is sick because Mummy is sick and passed the virus to her. It is sad to see her coughing away, having running nose and breathe with phlegm in her. Wanted to bring her to see doctor yesterday le but becos its public holiday and my best fren’s wedding, we have no choice but to wait. today, we brought her to see Dr Siaw and he says that Chloe has got bronchitis. ALthough her case is mild, but these few days are crucial and we have to keep her at home, avoid going out, monitor her temp. In case she is running a temp or feeling breatheless, we will need to seek further medical care. Poor Chloe is crying away, cannot sleep well or eat well... it is sad to see her in discomfort, and I really felt guilty since I brought back the virus and patrick and mummy are also down and unwell……hope everyone will recover soon, including myself.

no longer 24/7

Time really flies and today marks the last day of my maternity leave. Tomorrow, early in the morning, I will need to report back to school. This time round, unlike my pregnancy days, carrying Chloe in my tummy, I’ll be going back alone. For the past 15 months (10 months in tummy n 3 months taking care of her) L have always been there all the while…. but from tomorrow onwards no more 24/7….

好舍不得呀！Although I have faith that our Lord will take good care of BB Chloe, but I think I will just miss her badly :(

Nevertheless, pray that I can still continue my milking career smoothly n that Lord will help me and BB to enter this transition into next phase smoothly…

With God, everything is possible… Amen