Chloe celebrate birthday for 阿公！

Since Chloe needs to stay at home to recuperate, we postpone our dine out session and only celebrate 阿公’s brithday @home.

My first month with Baby Chloe is driving me crazy!!!

I nv understand why pple go into post natal depression but now I understand why... The pregnancy period, the waiting near due date and the actual birth process are all bearable moments.... but the confinement one month is driving me crazy.....

I'm actually feeling down most of the days for the past few weeks...

First... is due to BB being sleepless @ night... when she come back for the first night, we went sleepless from 11 plus all the way to 6 plus.... and the sleepless nights went on.

Second... When I slowly adapt to BB's sleeping pattern, I began to worry about my milk supply... My milk supply hasnt been alot and what my parents kept saying does not help... It make me worse.... And the worry about milk supply still continues till now... I know I'll always have formula milk to fall back on in case anything happen to breastfeeding but I'm juz very earnestly wanted to BF... anyway, when I'm down, I'm half-hearted... I really feel like giving up.... I when to see the lactation consultant yesterday... @ there everything was fine, BB seems to latch on well.... But when I come back... things seems to go back to original again...... :(

Third.... Being a mother for the first time was not easy... I'm frankly speaking very lost so whatever my well-hearted relatives and friends say, I'll accept... This put me in a even more depressed mood becos I'm stressed out and kept thinking.

I'm so vexed over many things and in fact I'm juz so lost.... and I feel no peace @ all... Everyone kept asking me to rest.... but I'm juz not sure how to with so many things pressuring me... I'll try and I would say I rest more this week as compared to the past 3 weeks...

Will completing the confinement month means I'll be less stressed? Im not sure.... I know all these thoughts are driving me towards post-natal depression but I'm clearly telling myself I'll not go into depression.... @ least i'll not worsen my condition.....

Everything seems so haywired but I'll continue to have faith in God for He is my only strength in whom I can trust, He is my fortress, He is my delieverer, my shield and my rock of salvation.

I'll juz keep praying to Him and I know I'll be fine =)

After all, seeing BB's face it will be worth it all!

My precious Darling will be the force to keep me going and with God's grace, I'll survive...